There’s a conversation that I had between close friends of mine:
“Isn’t it crazy that the moment I am ready to let someone in my life Covid happens but was I really ready?
In the time of healing and remembering who I was before my divorce, I was going to therapy , becoming a avid solo traveler, becoming vocal.I realized to myself OK we can do this, we can date.You gave yourself a year to get to know yourself again.
I can’t use covid as an excuse to not date, as there so many creative ways to date someone.I did a facetime one and we meet in person the second date.In my view you will know when you’re ready to date.You start to exude a presence, a confidence some thing I excluded shortly after my divorce as I felt “free”.
I recently opened pandoras box with an ex,most of my ex’s reached out to me during the first peak of Covid in Texas to check in on me.Quarantine and my layoff, gave me time to reflect, rethink and rebalance.With this ex,I gave myself a deep breathe before I texted back, and when we reconnected after a years of not talking,I felt we were moving way to fast in such a short time and thats not what I wanted.I enjoyed every moment,I wanted to try and be his friend.
I saw something different in my ex.I was myself each time we hung out, holding back my feelings he even mentioned I’ve changed and he liked it.I loved to hear him say that as others noticed a change in me.
When he became distant,All those damn emotions came rushing back,I had to mute my friends who didn’t want me to open pandoras box in fear of my heart getting broken because a part of me has always wondered what if but I didn’t listen,I did the famous “He changed” Of course I still care for this person, but I love me more and went back into self care mode.
Self care has been something I’ve done anytime I feel I’m getting into a state of depression.The pandemic hasn’t helped either knowing you’re high risk and you love some days to just go out or stay in however the stay in days was becoming everyday until I started a new job 2 months ago.I changed my morning routine with affirmations, meditation, workouts by using the Nike Training Club app and a healthy breakfast.
This can be a time for connection, togetherness and maybe reconnection and closure.
There are things in 2018 I would never do out of being stubborn and spoiled,In the spring of 2019 – 2020 This woman has become and is becoming the woman she wants to be, is happily single, and dating, until a man courts you don’t place your eggs in one basket.I enjoy every weekend when I can get dressed up and date myself or go out with someone and look and feel fabulous, and myself.